Men hit the bottle

Many reading this blog might have first thought I am talking to men who drink alcohol. 

We know men have different ways of coping and a weekly pub visit might be their Friday thing to de-stress and unwind that's not my focus here. and some might choose to visit the pub every week as a way to unwind I'm talking about hitting the bottle not so much in the physical sense instead hitting the bottle, metaphorically. They often put their feelings and emotions in a bottle and tightly screw on the lid so there's no chance of spills or leaks because we all know what mess that would make.

Let's imagine for a second a bottle of emotions and mixed feelings - by bottling them up. Rather than expressing their feelings, they lock them away tightly to avoid any potential emotional outbursts which might lead to a mess.

Growing up do you remember asking your parents to play a board game and being met with a No I've got loads of stuff I still need to do. We'll play it another time ok? Bottling up the sadness you felt, knowing there is little success in trying to persuade them.

As an adult you are always the one asked to do favours at work, cover staff shortages and work your ass off to meet deadlines, keeping management quiet. You overhear someone say ask [...]they'll give you a hand with that.  [...] knows how to do that, go run it past them. You recognise you are feeling frustrated but feel you can't show your outrage in front of people because of people. There's where the feeling goes, into the bottle. 

It's probably seen as a sign of maturity without much thought about where the emotions have gone. The situation has been and gone nothing more to say on the matter right?

I say there's a lot still to be said actually. What about the message conveyed by language. It speaks to our values, opinions, and needs, and the role that emotions play in shaping our inner world. Emotions guide our actions, shape our perceptions, and help us form relationships with others."

Bottling up means to hide real thoughts and feelings to avoid burdening others with our stuff. Keeping our thoughts and emotions to ourselves. It can be a way to protect those around us. However, just like a fizzy drink, it can only hold so much before the pressure builds up and the lid pops off unexpectedly. This can create a storm of emotions that have been confined for too long. It's important to acknowledge our feelings and find healthy ways to express them rather than letting them brew inside. Remember that it's okay to ask for help and support from those who care about you.

If you need support understanding your emotions and how to manage them. I have helped men to be able to talk more freely about their feelings and can offer the same to you.

Get in touch!