Do people around you say you need to be tougher? 

Personally, it brings up some unhelpful messages about how we shouldn't let things bother us, and that we mustn't express or show our emotions. This is a common thing with many male clients I work with. They are often concerned about what it says about them.

If we consider toughness for the physical body, you might work out to gain strength. 

Mental toughness is a phrase pushed in today's world. The ability to stay focused, motivated, and resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks. Mentally tough men are said to be able to handle stress, pressure, and uncertainty with grace and confidence, and they can push themselves beyond their limits. 

It can be strengthened but alone is not enough. When we are not able to share these feelings with others because of how we are seen. It can create a recipe for anxiety and depression.

When we hold on to emotions, we are often not processing and releasing them healthily. Much like a bin for household rubbish, an emotional bin can help to offer us some headspace from anything that is holding us back. If it is not emptied regularly. When this happens, it can lead to emotional and mental exhaustion, negative thought patterns, and even physical health problems.

It’s important to acknowledge and process your emotions healthily.

Take one piece of rubbish at a time 
We are human, and we have limits we wouldn't expect someone to complete a marathon without training first right? then why it is we get caught up in trying to do everything all at once. It's ok to break things down in more manageable ways.

Who is in our corner?
 Life gets sticky, When we have a strong support system, we are better equipped to handle setbacks and challenges. The encouragement and validation offered by friends, family and professionals help us work through these stressful situations and navigate difficult feelings. 
Drop the need to do it all alone.

Do we believe in ourselves?
Self-belief is essential to overcoming obstacles in life. Self-belief means having confidence in our abilities and trusting ourselves, even if things don't go to plan. Let's sit with these feelings and find the lessons in them. Ask ourselves what we can take away from this and how we move forward If we have faith in our capability, it means that it's within reach. We can overcome self-doubt, rather than lose ourselves in the trap of self-sabotaging behaviour.

Is your emotional trashcan overflowing, too heavy to lift and empty? I can help you unpack this and understand its fullness?

Are you good at pushing things that make you feel shitty under the carpet? 

This takes the thing away from our view if the carpet is moved through its back because we have covered it over. How might it be to swap a cover over for an uncomfortable one? 
You read it right. We need to at times go to uncomfortable places, face the parts of ourselves we dislike, those that lurk in our shadows and release some of the pain we've been carrying.

When we cover over the struggle it's like using a plaster to support a wound until we return home and can tend to it properly. 

I hate to break it to you, but no plaster sticks indefinitely, and no carpet covers forever. I know because I have also been in this place. Personally, if it was too painful and it created tears I wouldn't go there. Our strength comes from managing the wound, tending to it, and creating the right environment that would in turn help it to heal. Covering wounds can be an important step in the healing process. It's a step that doesn't finish here. Why can't we look at all that has been covered over by the carpet, allow ourselves to be vulnerable and face the difficult conversations, improve the almost non-existent relationships and start to grow? 

This was part of what therapy did for me. It helped me to start peeling back the plasters, looking deeper at the wounds, helping me to understand myself more, the parts of me I dislike, where they come from and how I have a choice around if I continue falling into the invisible traps I always fell. Therapy helped me release emotional blockages and trauma that felt somewhat caged in my body and mind.
I was provided a safe and supportive space to process and work through any emotional challenges that arise during the healing process. By addressing both the physical and emotional struggles, balance could be found. 

Balance in life means finding a happy medium with various aspects of life, such as work, family, social life, and personal time. I own some time I have it sorted other days it takes more effort and energy. 
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Do you want to want to be able to push less ‘sh**y feelings and use fewer plasters in your life?
If so, I can help you, I get it - it doesn't have to be this way honestly edit.

Self-doubt even when there is clear evidence of your success. it sucks!

You may have heard the saying proof is in the pudding, it means you have seen first hand proof of something worth either by taste if we are talking of cake or from our experience. 

This evidence doesn't always cut it when the imposter syndrome is around, you might hear someone praise your efforts and be in ore of your skill, tell you how that's the best Victoria sponge they've had this year but there will still be some doubt that lingers in your mind. 
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You've made the cake on your own so there’s only you to thank for how good it tastes when your great-aunt compliments you and tells you how you follow in the family baker's footsteps (whoever that might be to you). You responded by talking about how easy and simple the recipe was to follow. The imposter is most probably playing their part here as you are undervaluing your contributions. This might be because you are feeling a bit embarrassed, or because to you it wasn't really anything to shout about.
These thought patterns of self-doubt are not often ones that pop up occasionally and then they are gone for months. Sorry to be the bearer of not pleasant news. It's the nagging feeling of never feeling good enough when there’s that small part of you that wants to believe you did well and be even the tiniest bit proud of yourself. A thought enters your mind ‘What if I am a fraud, what if this was simply shear luck’

When the imposter is around it can leave us with anxiety, fear of being deceitful, wondering if when you make a cake next year you’ll be caught out or it wont be as good as this one so people will be let down. This in itself is likely to increase the stress and pressure you feel as you fear making a mess of things and want it to be just perfect as you work so hard to keep up appearances and not be exposed.

I hope the cake reference - helped get my point across a little. If it didn't I apologise, using analogies helps me to understand and are relatable for some. Cake aside, there are lots of circumstances where the imposter might show up.