I Still Love Teaching, But I Don’t Know If I Want My Life to Revolve Around It Anymore
You can love teaching and still wonder how much of your life you want it to take up.
You might have always been the teacher who gives a bit more. You say yes. You want to do a good job. You care about how you are seen.
Over time, being a teacher can become a big part of who you are.
You might be proud of that. You might be the reliable one, the capable one, the one who gets on with things.
But teaching is not all of you.
When being a good teacher starts to cost too much
When being a good teacher is tied to how you see yourself, doing less can feel harder than it sounds.
So when things get difficult, you might not step back.
You try harder. You give more. Sometimes more than you really have to give.
School follows you home in your head.
You might be with your family, but still thinking about something that happened that day, something you need to do tomorrow, or what Monday is already going to look like.
You make plans around school without really noticing that you are doing it.
And then perhaps a thought appears:
I still love teaching. I just don’t want my whole life to revolve around it.
“I’m not the teacher I used to be”
Perhaps you used to have more energy for it.
Perhaps evenings and weekends being taken up by school did not bother you as much. Or you accepted that this was just part of being a teacher.
Now it feels different.
You want to be with your family without half of your mind being somewhere else.
You want to make plans without first checking what school will need from you.
You want some of your own life back.
That can be difficult to admit when teaching has been such an important part of who you are.
You might wonder:
If I say no, will people see me differently?
Am I becoming less committed?
Am I not the teacher I used to be?
Maybe being a different teacher now doesn’t mean being a worse one.
What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t?
There is, of course, the reality of the workload.
But sometimes there is something else going on too.
The thought that a good teacher would manage.
A good teacher would help.
A good teacher would find a way.
So it might be worth asking yourself:
What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t?
What if you said no this time?
What if something had to wait?
What if somebody else had to help?
Would someone think less of you?
Would you feel guilty?
Would you feel as though you had somehow failed?
For some people, being good at what they do becomes closely connected with feeling valued.
And when that happens, doing less can start to feel like being less.
How much space is teaching taking up?
You might not want to leave teaching at all.
You might simply want it to take up less of your life.
How much of your head is still at school once you are home?
How often does school come first when you make plans?
What are you continuing to say yes to when you would rather not?
And how much of you is actually left for the people and things that matter outside work?
If you want to pause and think about some of this, you can take my short Teacher Check-In
You can also choose to receive future blog posts and resources written for teachers.
What if you already know you are giving too much?
You may not need somebody to tell you that.
You may already know.
The difficult bit can be understanding why changing it feels so uncomfortable.
Why does saying no feel like such a big thing?
Why can asking for help feel harder than just doing it yourself?
Why can putting something down feel like letting somebody down?
And what happens to how you see yourself when you are no longer the person who always manages?
These are things you can bring to therapy.
I am not going to tell you whether you should stay in teaching, leave, work fewer hours or simply get better at saying no.
We can look instead at what being a “good teacher” has come to mean to you, why giving less can feel so difficult, and what you want thave more room for outside school.
You do not need to have the answer before you start.
If this feels familiar and you would like to talk about what is going on for you, you can book a free 20-minute introductory call.
You can love teaching and still want more of your life to be yours.