Why So Many Teachers Feel Guilty for Not Enjoying the Christmas Break
By the time the holidays arrive, many teachers are running on empty.
So there’s often an expectation — from others and from yourself — that the break should feel like relief.
But for a lot of teachers, it doesn’t.
Instead of rest or enjoyment, there’s guilt.
Guilt for feeling flat.
Guilt for not making the most of the time off.
Guilt for still feeling tense when you’re “meant” to be okay.
If that sounds familiar, there’s nothing wrong with you.
“I Should Be Enjoying This More”
This is one of the most common things teachers say at this time of year.
You might notice yourself thinking:
I’ve finally stopped — why don’t I feel better?
Other people seem relaxed. What’s wrong with me?
I should be grateful for this time.
That internal pressure can be surprisingly heavy. It turns rest into something else to succeed at — another expectation to meet.
And when you don’t meet it, self-criticism quickly follows.
Why Guilt Shows Up When the Pressure Stops
During term time, many teachers are focused on coping. There’s little space to notice how much things are taking out of you — you’re simply getting through the day.
When the pace suddenly slows, your system doesn’t automatically shift into ease. Instead, what often appears first is the after-effect of sustained pressure.
Feeling flat, irritable, low, or emotionally muted at the start of a break isn’t a failure to relax. It’s a very common response after months of pushing through.
The guilt comes from the belief that rest should feel instantly good — and that if it doesn’t, you’re doing something wrong.
When Rest Brings Discomfort Instead of Relief
Another reason the break can feel uncomfortable is that space allows feelings to surface.
Without the usual distractions, you may notice:
tiredness you couldn’t previously feel
frustration or resentment you’ve been holding down
a quiet dread about the next term
These feelings don’t mean you’re ungrateful or negative. They often mean you finally have enough breathing room to register what’s been going on.
For teachers used to being capable and composed, this can feel unsettling — and the guilt rushes in to shut it down.
The Pressure to “Use the Break Well”
There’s a lot of messaging around this time of year about recharging, resetting, and coming back refreshed.
For someone already stretched, that can create another unspoken demand:
I need to get myself right before January.
But recovery doesn’t work like that. It isn’t something you can force or optimise. And it rarely happens neatly within a set amount of time.
Sometimes the most realistic version of rest is simply not asking anything extra of yourself.
A Different Way of Looking at This
If you feel guilty for not enjoying the break, it may help to consider this:
Your response isn’t a reflection of your attitude.
It’s a reflection of how much you’ve been carrying.
Nothing has gone wrong because you’re not suddenly relaxed. You’re not behind. You haven’t failed at resting.
You’re decompressing — and that can feel messy before it feels better.
Therapy as a Place Without Expectations
Some teachers reach out for therapy during or after the holidays because the pause brings clarity: something needs attention.
Not urgently. Not dramatically. Just kindly.
Therapy doesn’t have to be about fixing yourself or making decisions before the new term starts. It can be a space where you don’t have to enjoy, improve, or perform — just notice what’s there.
A Gentle Closing
If you’re carrying guilt for not enjoying the break, you’re not alone — and you’re not doing it wrong.
You’re responding to months of pressure in a very human way.
If you’d like support making sense of that, now or in the new year, you’re welcome to get in touch when it feels right.