When You’ve Given Too Much: How Therapy Helps Teachers Find Self-Compassion
Teachers are known for giving — it’s often what drew you to the job in the first place. You show up, you hold space, you steady the room when everything feels chaotic. But when giving becomes constant, it can start to cost more than you realise.
Many teachers reach a quiet kind of exhaustion. They’re still showing up — still kind, still capable — but running on fumes. Burnout doesn’t always crash in loudly. Sometimes it’s the slow fading of joy, patience, or the belief that you’re doing enough.
That’s when self-compassion stops being a luxury and starts becoming the thing that keeps you going.
Why Overgiving Happens in Teaching
Teaching attracts people who care about doing right by others. You notice when someone’s struggling and want to make it better. That instinct is part of what makes you good at your job — but it can also make it hard to stop.
You stay late. You cover lessons. You skip lunch. You tell yourself it’s “just part of the job.”
And most of the time, no one questions it — because the whole system runs on people quietly doing more than they should.
Over time, that constant giving starts to erode the basics that keep you well: rest, balance, perspective. What once felt generous begins to feel like survival.
This isn’t a personal failing. It’s what happens when a caring profession forgets to care for the people doing the work.
And sometimes, when you finally pause, a small thought appears: maybe it doesn’t have to be this way.
If this sounds familiar, my post on recognising teacher burnout explores how these patterns develop and what helps you recover. here
The Cost of Constant Giving
There’s a limit to how much you can keep giving before something gives way. For many teachers, it doesn’t happen overnight — it creeps in slowly.
Maybe you start snapping at home or lying awake running through tomorrow’s to-do list.
Maybe you feel numb in class, even when you care deeply about the work.
Or maybe it’s that Sunday night feeling — a weight in your chest before the week even begins.
These are not signs of weakness. They’re signals that you’ve been running on empty for too long.
When giving becomes your default, rest starts to feel undeserved. You tell yourself you’ll stop once things calm down — but they rarely do. And in that cycle, your own needs fade further into the background.
The cost isn’t just tiredness. It’s losing touch with yourself — the part that once felt grounded, curious, and alive in the classroom.
Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as treating yourself with the same care you’d offer a struggling student . Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion resources
What Self-Compassion Really Means
Self-compassion isn’t about pretending things are fine. It’s about remembering that you’re human too.
For teachers, that can feel unnatural. You spend so much time meeting other people’s needs that listening to your own can feel uncomfortable, even selfish. But it’s not. It’s maintenance — the thing that keeps you able to care at all.
It can look small: taking a full lunch break, saying no without apology, noticing the voice that says “I should be coping better” and answering it with a bit of kindness.
It’s the pause before pushing through. The deep breath before saying yes again.
It’s learning that your worth isn’t measured by how much you can carry.
How Therapy Can Help You Refill Your Cup
Therapy gives you space to slow down and hear yourself again. It’s not about fixing you — it’s about understanding why you’ve had to keep running on empty, and what it might feel like to stop.
Together, we look at the patterns that make saying no so hard — the fear of letting people down, the guilt that creeps in when you rest, the part of you that learned to keep giving, even when it hurts.
In that space, you can start to build a new kind of care — one that includes you.
A version of compassion that’s sustainable, not self-erasing.
You can read more about how I support teachers through burnout and self-compassion on my Work With Me page.
I offer online therapy for teachers across the UK, supporting people who are ready to move from burnout towards balance.
If you’ve been pouring from an empty cup for too long, therapy can help you refill it — gently, and at your own pace.
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely burnt out to start caring for yourself. The moment you notice how tired you are is already the beginning of change
If this feels familiar, you can book a free intro call here to start finding your way back to steadiness, one small step at a time.