Someone asks how you are as you walk into the staffroom.
“Yeah, fine thanks. You?”
You’ve answered before you’ve really thought about it. You’re getting things out of your bag, asking about their weekend. What you wanted to say was, “Actually, I’m finding things really difficult.” But there’s briefing in five minutes, and you’re not sure you want to get into it here.
What would they think if you told them?
Perhaps you’re worried they’ll think you can’t cope. Would they start questioning how you’re managing your class? You find yourself choosing your words carefully, even with someone you like.
And sometimes you look around and think, Who’s actually got time to listen anyway?
Everyone’s rushing somewhere. You’ve barely got time to ask how someone is, never mind explain why you spent Sunday worrying about Monday.
So you leave it. You might even have a laugh before heading to your classroom. Now it feels harder to bring up, because you’ve just said you’re fine.
At home, you might say, “Same as usual.” You’re tired, and explaining it all feels like another job. You don’t want to feel like you’re always complaining.
But you would quite like someone to ask a bit more. To have time for the answer.
Having time to say it
In therapy, there’s time to talk about how you actually are, including the things you keep deciding aren’t worth mentioning.
You might worry about what I’ll think too. You can say, “I’m worried you’ll think I’m being ridiculous,” or “I don’t really know how to explain this.”
I work with teachers, and we can spend time on what’s been bothering you, even if you’re used to brushing it off. We can come back to something if you’re finding it difficult to say. I wouldn’t expect you to tell me everything at the first appointment.
For now, try finishing this sentence privately:
“When I say I’m fine, what I’m leaving out is…”
If you’d like time to talk honestly about how things are, arrange a free 20-minute introductory call with me. We can discuss what you’re looking for, and you can ask questions before deciding whether to book therapy.