We'd never intentionally hinder our progress, would we? If we want something, we'd naturally gravitate towards making it a reality, right?

Surprisingly enough, us humans are quite the social creatures (granted, some days more than others). Who doesn't crave a sense of connection? It could be as simple as a shared chuckle with a barista amidst the coffee shop, maybe it's something more profound, a deeper connection. We all crave that, don't we? The sense of being valued, cherished, sharing an unbreakable bond with someone that matters.

Yet, for some of us, navigating the waters of deep connection can feel like sailing through a storm. I have worked with many clients who have struggled with this, and I can help you. There are many reasons we can feel stuck.

 Is it fear anchoring us down? Or maybe it's the shadow of past experiences. Isn't it odd how we manage to be our own worst enemies, slamming the brakes on our own progress – whether it's in relationships, personal well-being, or the pursuit of our dreams?

It's not as if we intentionally build these walls, deliberately undermining our chances of forging meaningful connections. It's more about a lack of self-confidence, a distrust of ourselves and others, a fear of being hurt if we let someone get too close. If people have come and gone throughout our lives, the thought of getting close to someone else can be downright terrifying.

After all, we're stuck with ourselves for the long haul (a rather unsettling thought, isn't it?). It's only natural that we'd want to protect ourselves. If life's thrown us a few curveballs, the last thing we want is a repeat performance.

So how can we break out of this self-defeating cycle?

Start by getting to know yourself better.
Recognize the signs of self-sabotage. Maybe you always find yourself saying no to invites out and favour a cup of tea on the sofa.
Ask yourself, "I want to achieve (...), but I always seem to do (...)." Many of our self-sabotaging behaviours may not even be noticeable at first. They're often rooted in anxiety.

Does your inner critic come out to play, listing all the reasons you shouldn't even try?

Next, talk about it.
Self-sabotage can be a source of embarrassment, a spotlight on our insecurities. Who wants to draw attention to their weaknesses? But finding the courage to voice our fears can make them seem less intimidating. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. You might even find a friend willing to lend a hand. You could even make a bit of a plan together and think of things to help.

Ever thought about the folks that colour our lives?

Who are they and what makes them tick? Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery, peeling back the layers of those we share our world with. There are different types of people 

Isn't life just a maze of connections, each thread representing our bonds and relationships? It's like an intricate spider web, each strand as unique as the person it's attached to.
And isn't nature the best teacher we could ask for? It's as if the wilderness speaks in metaphors, helping us untangle the complex knots of life. Don't you think?

I understand how challenging it can be to navigate through difficult times and understand the people in your life. I'm here to support you and provide guidance to help you through the storms.



First, we have the 'root people'. They are our foundations our anchor. Like age-old oak trees weathering storms, their roots entwined deep within, offering stability. These are the ones we find solace in, our safe havens, our homes. Despite life's ebb and flow, we can always return to them, our roots intertwine again, and all is calm.

Yet, relying on their reliability can sometimes be challenging., especially when life has taught you to question the very ground you tread on. The idea of 'root people', always there, always solid, is a concept that stirs a whirlwind of hope and doubt within me. Their unwavering strength, their trustworthiness, it's comforting. A tangible reassurance in an otherwise unpredictable world, a place of peace in the chaos of life.

Then, we have the 'branch people'.
The dance of trust with them is a delicate one, a balancing act. The term "branch people test the weight" captures the vulnerability associated with giving trust. Will they hold us up, or will we plummet into a freefall of disappointment? This constant questioning, this dance with doubt, is a mental performance many of us are all too familiar with.

Finally, the 'leaf people'.
Their fleeting presence in our lives mirrors the transient beauty of autumn leaves. They breeze in, their vibrancy refreshing our world before the winds of change sweep them away. This comparison aids in understanding our relationships, although it may be a difficult concept for those who seek stability in their human connections.

Ever wondered why we're born into a world brimming with other people if we were meant to stand alone? It's a tough pill to swallow when we realize that not every relationship is built to last. It's like watching the leaves change in the fall, knowing they'll soon be gone. This realization can stir up a storm of feelings, don't you think?

You know how life rarely hands out guarantees, right? It's like coming across folks who are like leaves on a tree. They're here today, gone tomorrow, reminding us that nothing lasts forever and prompting us to savour those fleeting moments of connection. Isn't it all about evolving from every interaction, embracing change, and seeing the beauty in it?
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Still, don't we all sometimes wish for more 'root people', the ones who are always there, come rain or shine? 

If you want to understand yourself some more and your relationships. I'd love to hear from you.

Ever noticed how children, in their innocence, unknowingly mimic the people in their lives, like they're playing a game they don't quite understand?

They're like little sponges, unwittingly absorbing everything in their environment. These tender minds are so easily swayed, that they almost involuntarily turn into miniature replicas of their idols. When those we look up to are there to catch us when we fall, it empowers us to step out of our comfort zone. Their support is our safety net, allowing us to grow and evolve, knowing that they've got our back. Sadly this isn't always the way it goes. Mishaps are a part of life, and they can be managed, right? It's only fair to acknowledge our emotions, however they manifest. And it's crucial to feel secure, whatever happens.

As a grown-up, you might get excited about tackling that escape room you've always been intrigued by. You see, what if your knack for solving puzzles is as unsteady as your hands Sure, people chuckle along with you, but as the laughter fades, you can't help but wonder what they're really thinking. 
Ever feel like you're more of a laid-back, chat-with-the-buddies type? Want to try cocktail making, but every time you go to give it a whirl, there's this nagging voice in your head saying, "You're better at sipping them than stirring them"?.

The echoes of our childhood can still play a tune in our adult life, right? It's like the kid in us is still calling the shots. If that's the case, I can help. I've got some experience in this, you know.

I remember growing up, I was never the most coordinated. I'd frequently drop things, but instead of ridicule or frustration, I was met with understanding and patience for my battles with fine motor skills. I remember the phrase "Go ahead and try, even if you make a mess, it can be cleaned ". That sentiment has stuck with me. I've always been my own worst critic, especially when it comes to the extra work, even if it's something I enjoy. Somehow, it just gets under my skin, and I end up being too rough on myself. I guess I was fortunate. Not everyone gets the same treatment. If I had been insulted or told I was worthless every time I spilled water making a cup of tea, I'd probably be more hesitant to take risks or try again. When we are growing up it is the remnants of our experiences linger, and we unknowingly lug these impressions into our grown-up lives. 

I want to help you by:

1) Creating a safe space - A space to understand your messages and where they come from

2) Supporting you to trust yourself - Changing this outdated tune and replacing it with a motivator to help get you going and becoming more of an emotion coach.
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3) Having more encouraging conversations with your inner child - Asking if I was a child now, what would I need to hear or be offered 

Navigating the therapist hunt can feel like a labyrinth, much like the quest for a life partner. How do we determine if someone is the right fit?

1. Finding the right fit

Therapists often list their services on a directory. Here, you can input specifics about your location, your struggles, and the type of therapy you're looking for. After that, it's up to the magic of the internet to find us potential matches.

But don't be fooled by the plethora of choices. You'll be presented with pictures, descriptions of who they are and how they can help. Suddenly, you're faced with pages of smiling strangers. You try to get a read on them, to see if they might understand you and help you effect the change you seek. Does this sound like a dating app yet? There's no swiping left or right here, though. What parameters help you narrow down your choices? A welcoming face, their fee, or perhaps that they seem to 'speak your language' – using words you do, addressing fears and concerns that mirror your own?

2. Fact-checking
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It's crucial to be as informed and as safe as possible when seeking a therapist, just like when going on a date. Luckily, this information should be easier to access with a therapist.

Have you done your homework?

Ensure any therapists or counsellors you're considering are Registered members of a governing body.
What about their qualifications and training?
In the UK, a counsellor should have at least a degree or, at minimum, a level 4 diploma.

3. The Next Step
You've perused their profile, seen their friendly faces and got an inkling of their therapeutic style. But until you're in the thick of it, till you've dipped your toe into the therapeutic waters and attempted to forge a connection, can you really tell how it's going to be? What if you just don't feel comfortable? They might be a really lovely person, but you feel they just don't understand you. I told you it was like dating – it's got to be the right fit. You need to feel safe enough to share.

I can certainly help with the therapy side of things!

I'm more than happy to set aside 20 minutes for a no-charge introductory call. This will let us see if we've got a connection and allow you to understand how I work. It could be a good match, we've all got to start somewhere, right?